Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
