Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward