Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.