How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him