When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks