A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever