Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.