you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)