gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"