We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is