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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
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