Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired