My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...