I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day