On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.