The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants