Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?