I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!