should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.