should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
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Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.