Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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