No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning