Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"