wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.