wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
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she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.