wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.