Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (325)

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  wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

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  (325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah" http://tfl.nu/d8s5
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  Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...

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  (325): Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on... http://tfl.nu/mq0s
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  Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?

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  (325): Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis? http://tfl.nu/utwq
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  suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea

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  (325): suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea http://tfl.nu/q0e7
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  When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous

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  (325): When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous http://tfl.nu/im9q
  Replies (26) Good night (757) Bad night (4352)
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  The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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  (325): The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her. http://tfl.nu/fi1h
  Replies (33) Good night (1589) Bad night (3997)
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  my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.

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  (325): my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song. http://tfl.nu/4wzc
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  Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???

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  (325): Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong??? http://tfl.nu/adeh
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  she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.

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  (325): she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it. http://tfl.nu/ygfd
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  The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

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  (325): The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am http://tfl.nu/kqzx
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  I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

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  (325): I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room http://tfl.nu/mue9
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  i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..

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  (325): i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits.. http://tfl.nu/taa7
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  She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...

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  (325): She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised... http://tfl.nu/ztyt
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  I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.

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  (325): I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms. http://tfl.nu/f5mq
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  I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.

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  (325): I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well. http://tfl.nu/zrfa
  Replies (19) Good night (6740) Bad night (1186) Order T-Shirt