It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
