I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And then my night got REAL pukey
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage