Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize