your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
