Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Iowa (515)

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.

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  (515): once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window. http://tfl.nu/ziko
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records

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  (515): we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records http://tfl.nu/b40n
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  nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right

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  (515): nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right http://tfl.nu/dqke
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  It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.

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  (515): It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful. http://tfl.nu/3wbb
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  are you wasted or are you getting laid?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  ebdebdebdebd

  (641): View more from Iowa

  wow

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  (641): are you wasted or are you getting laid? (515): ebdebdebdebd (641): wow http://tfl.nu/m3dh
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  you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny

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  (515): you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny http://tfl.nu/4raj
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  so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.

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  (515): so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker. http://tfl.nu/m4up
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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  (515): No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today. http://tfl.nu/dl5o
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.

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  (515): Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad. http://tfl.nu/2fcz
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  if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am

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  (515): if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am http://tfl.nu/tchg
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  Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many

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  (515): Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many http://tfl.nu/90pg
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.

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  (515): This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity. http://tfl.nu/l9v1
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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  (515): This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot. http://tfl.nu/nttq
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Deal!

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  (515): You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit. (1-515): Deal! http://tfl.nu/vj0b
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  and you said he wasn't worth calling.

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  (515): he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer. (1-515): and you said he wasn't worth calling. http://tfl.nu/rvi9
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