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once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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