Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.