Last Night in California (510)

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• (510): View more from California

  Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.

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• (510): View more from California

  Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor

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• (510): View more from California

  I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.

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• (510): View more from California

  You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink

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• (510): View more from California

  It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.

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• (510): View more from California

  called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?

  (1-510): View more from California

  you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.

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• (510): View more from California

  Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.

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• (510): View more from California

  I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you high?

  (510): View more from California

  No. That's why it's odd

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• (510): View more from California

  The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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• (510): View more from California

  He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?

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• (510): View more from California

  Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.

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• (510): View more from California

  one might say we're banned from that church

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• (510): View more from California

  I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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• (510): View more from California

  I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.

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