Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
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You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
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Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?