Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
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What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
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I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you