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Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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