We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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