I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.