Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?