I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
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Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!