Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
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You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
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Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.