Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (412)

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  It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas

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  (412): It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas http://tfl.nu/da47
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  it's like my freshman wet dream come true

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  (412): it's like my freshman wet dream come true http://tfl.nu/8b08
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  Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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  (412): Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently. http://tfl.nu/q1xe
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  Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand

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  (412): Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand http://tfl.nu/54cj
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  I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture

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  (412): I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture http://tfl.nu/mhk1
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  I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug

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  (412): I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug http://tfl.nu/u06h
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  So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.

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  (412): So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on. http://tfl.nu/mz2g
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  Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

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  (412): Life is too short to have fake orgasms. http://tfl.nu/1oh4
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  You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.

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  (412): You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you. http://tfl.nu/l1dm
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  Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.

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  (412): Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy. http://tfl.nu/6smo
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  I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business

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  (412): I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business http://tfl.nu/ujri
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  I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out

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  (412): I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out http://tfl.nu/phlg
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  attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can

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  (412): attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can http://tfl.nu/zc74
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  So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.

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  (412): So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now. http://tfl.nu/x0w2
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  I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first

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  (412): I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first http://tfl.nu/vbea
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