I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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