Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (360)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name. http://tfl.nu/z35x
  Replies (12) Good night (2636) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof. http://tfl.nu/kt4t
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (1754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers. http://tfl.nu/l0o6
  Replies (9) Good night (381) Bad night (2392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show. http://tfl.nu/dv9s
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though. http://tfl.nu/86o1
  Replies (19) Good night (598) Bad night (1741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks
  Replies (33) Good night (2905) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): 5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina http://tfl.nu/2med
  Replies (16) Good night (1806) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with

  (509): View more from Washington

  Isn't life beautiful?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with (509): Isn't life beautiful? http://tfl.nu/f406
  Replies (13) Good night (1945) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/iiw2
  Replies (5) Good night (1527) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love http://tfl.nu/d5q9
  Replies (22) Good night (2042) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe. http://tfl.nu/9hec
  Replies (5) Good night (857) Bad night (1171) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne http://tfl.nu/35hl
  Replies (8) Good night (2209) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it. http://tfl.nu/jy69
  Replies (21) Good night (2079) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot? http://tfl.nu/quvh
  Replies (22) Good night (743) Bad night (2835) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/hma8
  Replies (23) Good night (2607) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt