My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.