You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?