Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
