You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before