Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.