He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb