Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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