I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
