You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
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There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?