did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
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I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.