Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five