Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.