Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Did we literally take a cab across the street