Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (850)

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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  (850): Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either. http://tfl.nu/w5pa
  Replies (7) Good night (649) Bad night (1931) Order T-Shirt
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  They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers

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  (850): They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers http://tfl.nu/xy1w
  Replies (9) Good night (843) Bad night (1928) Order T-Shirt
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  when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..

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  (850): when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys.. http://tfl.nu/5j7g
  Replies (26) Good night (416) Bad night (1911) Order T-Shirt
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  Are you still giving blowjobs?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Who is this?

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  (850): Are you still giving blowjobs? (1-850): Who is this? http://tfl.nu/iq9v
  Replies (29) Good night (9241) Bad night (1862) Order T-Shirt
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  Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet

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  (850): Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet http://tfl.nu/7t8x
  Replies (9) Good night (393) Bad night (1726) Order T-Shirt
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  hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

  (904): View more from Florida

  not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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  (850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night? (904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"? (850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants. http://tfl.nu/wk6x
  Replies (33) Good night (20219) Bad night (1686)
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  Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.

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  (850): Miracle whip is the devil's jizz. http://tfl.nu/kavw
  Replies (16) Good night (1163) Bad night (1653) Order T-Shirt
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  Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager

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  (850): Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager http://tfl.nu/6wri
  Replies (15) Good night (436) Bad night (1637) Order T-Shirt
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  Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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  (850): Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either. http://tfl.nu/kaox
  Replies (1) Good night (1041) Bad night (1587)
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  I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.

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  (850): I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever. http://tfl.nu/5f06
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (1516) Order T-Shirt
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  Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.

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  (850): Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing. http://tfl.nu/n4ke
  Replies (18) Good night (3818) Bad night (1458) Order T-Shirt
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  if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him

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  (850): if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him http://tfl.nu/ohx4
  Replies (4) Good night (2067) Bad night (1439) Order T-Shirt
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  your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.

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  (850): your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing. http://tfl.nu/7ema
  Replies (11) Good night (453) Bad night (1423) Order T-Shirt
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  I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.

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  (850): I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life. (1-850): Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say. http://tfl.nu/wlmq
  Replies (11) Good night (591) Bad night (1412) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's great music for shaving your balls

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  (850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw
  Replies (24) Good night (3559) Bad night (1397) Order T-Shirt