ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
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If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.